“Questions I had when I was a child”
One day in winter、the questions fitted across my mind when I was warming myself in a kotatsu.
Why we human beings are on the earth?
Why were we born?
For what purpose we were born?
Before we were born on the earth, where was I?
We are born, and go to kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, high school, university, and have a job or start a business and earn money.
When we reach adolescence we get married and have two or three children and watch over their growth. When we reach retirement age and live the rest of our life peacefully and die…
We were born for doing these things only?
Our lives are for only these things?
We came here to spend about 80 years only for the purpose?
No…! It doesn’t sound right!
This body is not my essence!
This essence will exist forever after death?
After this body dies, where will my essence other than body ( I didn’t know the word ”soul” at that time) go?
Will my essence float in the universe?
Will I be alone?
What shape is the essence?
In the first place, why does the universe exist?
For what purpose does the universe exist?
What is the beginning of the universe?
From when the universe has been existed?
Where is the edge of the universe?
In the first place, why we human beings exist?
What are the other lives?
Is there anybody who can answer these question?
In those days, adults said:
“Be good girl”
“Study and go to good school and work in good company, then you can be happy”
“Stable occupation is good, so be a city public servant”
“School teacher is good”
“We don’t know what will happen in the future, so save money”
“One parent will pull your leg when you marry, so I have been put up with my married life”
“You can get stable payment, so marry normal businessman”
“If you have hard time and make effort now, you will be happy someday”
My mother kept saying such things, continued to do her best until the very end and left this world earlier.
“If we have hard time and make effort now, from when can we be happy?”
Where is the boundary line between the present hardship and effort and the rewarded happiness in the future.
I am wondering that as long as we don’t feel happiness right now, happiness won’t come to us eternally?
I pay my respect to my mother who gave me chances to be aware of these.
My mother died after she got “happiness” what she meant?
“Common sense” was what made my mother’s life worth living.
I had a doubt about “common sense”.
warming myself in a kotatsu alone…
To be continued